Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Selling Ourselves Short

This is quite an uncomfortable thing to write about. That being said, I'm not going to hold back for fear of sounding narcissistic or like a spoiled princess. I know too many women experiencing the same thing and they deserve an honest account and discussion of this subject.

So here it is, dating down. Man, do I see so many women date down. In some cases I am talking about looks but mostly I am talking about effort, ambition, creativity, generosity, leadership, affection, and success. I am blessed to know so many powerful, intelligent, and passionate women. For some reason, I can probably name at least one partner of each of them who was so unworthy of their time.

Why do we push unmotivated men? Why do we settle for a half ass relationship or "talking" (hooking up and hanging out without the label, shared meals, quality time, etc.) Why? Why did I feel the need to keep giving a guy the time of day after he disrespected me on more than one occasion? Why did I continue texting him first every time when he had no clue what a blessing having me in his life? Or that the chance to date me is pretty rare and sought after to be honest. I deserve someone so passionate, so loving, and so forthright about how he feels about me that he is shouting about it from the rooftops. I don't bust my ass to be a good person, woman, friend, daughter, employee, etc to be with a guy who is complacent with just getting by and putting in minimal effort to all of his endeavors and responsibilities. Why am I attracted to jaded know-it-alls when I seek other virtues in myelf and those with whom I surround myself? I deserve a man that rivals me in compassion and generosity. I know I know I know this and still I talk to guys who are money-focused, selfish, and cold.

Recently a close friend from high school reached out to me. We saw each other at a gathering a couple days prior. He was my first high school boyfriend and puppy love in the 9th grade. He told me about his feelings for me and how he really wanted to try seeing each other again. He said he had tunnel vision on work, family, and his side projects but that because we got along so well and made each other laugh constantly that it would be easy for us. He was so sweet and romantic and it was the first time I had been pursued and appreciated like that in awhile. Hanging out with him recently has been nice, until I texted to confirm his intentions. "I am not really looking for a relationship right now but I enjoy hanging out with you." What a slap in the face. Even when a nice guy demonstrates interest, he still falls short of the expectations I had developed from his initial proposal.

It frustrated me because I am looking for the love of my life. I've gone through the crush phase, the having fun phase, and the loving my independence and freedom phase. I want to find my ultimate best friend and until I find the person who is on pace with me in ambition, compassion, intellect, and spontaneity then I will continue loving myself as I deserve, and you should too.


  1. I couldn't be more proud of you. I'm so glad you see that you are worthy of all the best qualities and gifts that another person will find in YOU! Stay true to your course and you will find the ONE!