Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Selling Ourselves Short

This is quite an uncomfortable thing to write about. That being said, I'm not going to hold back for fear of sounding narcissistic or like a spoiled princess. I know too many women experiencing the same thing and they deserve an honest account and discussion of this subject.

So here it is, dating down. Man, do I see so many women date down. In some cases I am talking about looks but mostly I am talking about effort, ambition, creativity, generosity, leadership, affection, and success. I am blessed to know so many powerful, intelligent, and passionate women. For some reason, I can probably name at least one partner of each of them who was so unworthy of their time.

Why do we push unmotivated men? Why do we settle for a half ass relationship or "talking" (hooking up and hanging out without the label, shared meals, quality time, etc.) Why? Why did I feel the need to keep giving a guy the time of day after he disrespected me on more than one occasion? Why did I continue texting him first every time when he had no clue what a blessing having me in his life? Or that the chance to date me is pretty rare and sought after to be honest. I deserve someone so passionate, so loving, and so forthright about how he feels about me that he is shouting about it from the rooftops. I don't bust my ass to be a good person, woman, friend, daughter, employee, etc to be with a guy who is complacent with just getting by and putting in minimal effort to all of his endeavors and responsibilities. Why am I attracted to jaded know-it-alls when I seek other virtues in myelf and those with whom I surround myself? I deserve a man that rivals me in compassion and generosity. I know I know I know this and still I talk to guys who are money-focused, selfish, and cold.

Recently a close friend from high school reached out to me. We saw each other at a gathering a couple days prior. He was my first high school boyfriend and puppy love in the 9th grade. He told me about his feelings for me and how he really wanted to try seeing each other again. He said he had tunnel vision on work, family, and his side projects but that because we got along so well and made each other laugh constantly that it would be easy for us. He was so sweet and romantic and it was the first time I had been pursued and appreciated like that in awhile. Hanging out with him recently has been nice, until I texted to confirm his intentions. "I am not really looking for a relationship right now but I enjoy hanging out with you." What a slap in the face. Even when a nice guy demonstrates interest, he still falls short of the expectations I had developed from his initial proposal.

It frustrated me because I am looking for the love of my life. I've gone through the crush phase, the having fun phase, and the loving my independence and freedom phase. I want to find my ultimate best friend and until I find the person who is on pace with me in ambition, compassion, intellect, and spontaneity then I will continue loving myself as I deserve, and you should too.

Monday, April 3, 2017

To my loved ones who voted for Trump

Dear Loved Ones,

I know you aren't evil and I know that most of you are not racist. I know some of the women in my life who voted for Trump support women's rights and want me to have every opportunity my male counterparts do. I know most of you didn't know that he would do all the things he's doing, but we tried to warn you.

I am so frustrated with you. You were complacent in electing a monster because he falsely aligned himself with the republican party and conservative ideals. He does not value the things you do or believe in the things you do. The only loyalty he has is to money and the only value he holds is a commitment to making plenty of it.

We told you so many times all of the bad he has already done. We told you about his housing discrimination lawsuit, his fake university, his bankruptcies, his crude comments, even videos of him bragging about sexual assault. You chose to look away. You said "you aren't a political person" or "Hillary is a criminal" and turned off your brain afterwards. You didn't regularly peruse Trump's social media accounts. I truly believe that any intelligent and compassionate person could not have voted for Trump with a clean conscience if he consistently read his tweets. Impossible. Trump is a hateful toddler on Twitter. He publicly insults anyone who disagrees with him, complains about the media portraying him as an asshole, and spews bullshit at all hours of the day.

You didn't understand why so many people across our country mourned on Nov. 9th. We mourned and mourned and you went about your day, thinking how it was time for a Republican to be elected again. You even said that "it's time that the country comes together to support our new President" and to this ignorant statement we answered with "Not My President." You still didn't get it. We could feel that what was to come was going to try and suffocate us and those around us, while you were in your normal Wednesday routine.

Now we have seen Trump revert progress with global reproductive rights, the Muslim Ban, watched as he appointed under-qualified individuals to heads of his cabinet, even people who detested the office which they now oversee. We saw him gut out the EPA, watched him propose a budget that in no way prioritizes the well being of America's citizens, thereby making nothing "great again." He does what he wants and when criticized, he tells government employees to agree with him or leave their post. He has consistently lied and broken campaign promises. He rushed to oust the Affordable Care Act but could not bring quality reform to the floor of Congress even with an astounding political majority.

Since his election, we also saw the roar of the left and many human rights and advocacy organizations. We organized and carried out the largest mass demonstration in world history, the Women's March. An estimated 2.9 million people from around the globe and an estimated 500,000 in D.C. alone protested against the hatred and ignorance on which Trump's campaign stood.

The greatest thing I have seen come out of Trump's election? As I scrolled through Instagram, I came upon one of my favorite goofy humor accounts. It was a headline of Trump's most recent ridiculous statement: political news on a comedy social media account. I have seen political discussions in places they never were before, welcoming signs valuing diversity in neighbor's yards, and many more instances where politics is out of place. With reality TV slipping into the public policy sphere with Trump, so has the political dripped into pop culture more heavily since Trump was elected.

A more engaged citizenry is exactly what we need. The percentage of eligible citizens in this country who do not vote is incredibly high for an industrialized democracy. Clearly, politics needed to grab the attention of more Americans. If it had before the election, I don't believe the outcome would have been the same. I also deeply believe that if you had been paying attention to Trump, his policy stances, and his scandals, you would not have been so eager to support a man without a spine. Nevertheless, I love you. I hope to see you soon, and even better if it's at the next rally.